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The rules of acquaintances according to Carnegie

No one has actually created the perfect technology of finding the new circle of acquaintances that would actually work perfectly, the faultless success for the opposite sex. The sphere as delicate as flirt doesn't fall for the formalization easily, but the humanity doesn't loose the hope to find the easy and clear rules that would make the process of getting acquainted and communication easier.
Indeed Dale Carnegie was the first one who offered the simple system that is consisted of several rules, that, as its creator promised, would let to get the new acquaintances and friends easily and would make easier the process of flirt and communication. On Carnegie's opinion, the main success of communication is in the sincere interest to the people and in the true sympathy to them. Nothing, on his opinion, wins the successful developing of acquaintance as the smile does. The deeds tell better than words and the smile says: "I like you. You make my mood better. I am glad to see you".
Carnegie asserted, that you would need to create the atmosphere of joy and enthusiasm around the surrounding people if you want them to communicate with you. The smile can bring the attention and to make the acquaintance. Sometimes one smile is enough to start the flirt. But we are talking only about the sincere smile. The fake smile won't cheat on anyone.
But the only sincere interest and smile is usually not enough to develop the acquaintance that you made. Carnegie gives several advices about the leading of conversation. First of all, he recommends calling the interlocutor by name as often as it is possible: "The name of the person is the sweetest and the most important sound for him in any language".
The using instead of name the substitutes, even the respectful and the sweet ones, will make the new acquaintance to suspect that his name was forgotten, and she can get really offended because of such inattentiveness and oblivion of the interlocutor. Confusing the name we also show ourselves form the bad side in front of our interlocutor. And what can be worse than to loose the opportunity of interesting and promising acquaintance because of our own little negligence? It is even more a shame if we were not just chatting, but flirting with an attractive for us person.
According to Dale Carnegie in the communication it is more important to be not a good orator, but the excellent listener. The ability to listen to the interlocutor attentively and with interest gives the opportunity to get to know the person and to please her: "to get interested the others you should show your interest to them first of all". Ask these people questions that they would really like to answer. Encourage the conversations about themselves and their achievements.
Not rare one of the biggest problems in getting acquainted is the finding the topics for the conversations. The simplest and the best way out of that situation, on Carnegie's opinion, would be the topic that would interest the interlocutor. The sincere interest to the person will help easily find the topic that would interest the person you would like to talk to.
The sixth and the last one rule of communication of Dale Carnegie says: always let the people to feel their own magnitude. To make the sincere compliment for the good hair dressing or the physical shape of the person, to ask for advice ion the sphere that he is good in - that is the easiest and the most efficient method to get interest of the person and please her: "Each of us wants to get the approval of the people who we communicate with. We want people to estimate us at our true worth. We want to feel our own magnitude in our micro world. We don't want to hear the cheap and fake flatter, but we are eager to hear the high mark that would be objective. Each of us wants that". And maybe we should remember about that when we are getting acquainted with the people that we are interested in? And at that point we wouldn't even notice when we would get to whirlpool of romance and flirt.

Let's sum up. There are six ways to please the people:

  1. Show the sincere interest to the people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that in any language there is no more pleasant and best sound for the person than the sound of his name.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage the others to talk about them.
  5. Talk about the things that interest your interlocutor.
  6. Let the people feel their own magnitude - and do that sincerely.
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