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How to correspond with a Russian lady?

First of all you should understand that correspondence is not a short-term undertaking but relationship which should bring you to a crucial for your and lady’s life decision. No matter how you are busy if you have decided to look for a life partner in a post-soviet country you ought to be ready to allocate 2-3 days a week about 30-50 min. If you correspond with more than two ladies it will take more time in order to reply to ladies’ letters or to find a new lady and write her a letter. Surely it makes no sense to write a separate introduction letter to each woman but we, as agency’s workers, are very delighted when a man in the first and in the last paragraph of his letter writes something personal, meant for this particular lady only. «I’ve read in your profile that you have three cats at home. Wow! I adore cats but I am afraid that if I have that many cats at home I will not be able to pay to wife as much attention as I would like to … :)» Having read such a letter a woman will understand that you are really interested in her and that your letter is not written for many copies.
At first you can correspond with 5-10 ladies till the centre of your attention is not focused to 2-3 women or one woman. It is crucial that you get not confused in your correspondence. Our translators often face the choice whether to translate what was written by a man or to «help» him? We «help» only those men who allowed us to make corrections in their letters. And of course we notify a man about the corrections made in his letter. But… if you correspond on your own, please, keep under control what you are writing to a lady. Sometimes you will have to re-read what you wrote to her 3-5 letters ago…
How often to write to a lady? A woman as well as a man must get at least one letter a week. If you are in for a business trip, holiday, visit to relatives – don’t forget to tell a lady about it. On your returning you may happen to be overloaded with work. OK, in such a case we advise you to sent a note like «Sveta, I’m back. I have plenty of news I desperately want to share with you. But I have a heap of work to do. I will write you in a couple of days. OK? Always thinking about you…»
Even after your meeting the intensiveness of your communication plays a very important work either it is correspondence or telephone conservations. Don’t permit the situation which happened to one our couple. The meeting of a man and a woman went with a swing and they decided be together… After his departure to the USA the guy was writing to a lady once in 1,5-2 months and the last 5 months he totally disappeared. On the New Year’s even this girl’s mother received a package form the USE embassy – an invitation to interview for obtaining fiancee visa. And the lady by that time had been married and lived in Germany!
You do not know how to write letters and you are at a loss what to begin with. Everyone – men, as well as women are good at writing letters! The difference is only that somebody is capable of writing 3-4 pages of a fascinating «novel» and somebody writes a short and rather dry note on a half-page. The main thing there is to begin! And to survive through the first 3-4 letters! There was one story recently in our agency which always brings smile to my face when I think of it. 29 years old lady, having received a letter from a man, asked me: «Zoya, can I not reply to this letter?..» «Why? You don’t like him? Or the difference in age seems big to you?» «No, I like him and the difference in age is normal…. I don’t know how to write letters.» «OK, just try to answer his questions (Thank God there were 4 questions in the letter!) and ask him a couple of questions yourself», - I replied. We ad the man waited for the first letter for almost ten days. However the third letter this lady wrote to the man contained, «Do you love history? I adore history. My grandfather was a teacher of history and in childhood I listened to his telling about Suvorov, Ekaterina II, Ancient Rome holding my breath…. I must have inherited the love for history . My father also loves history – military one… Honey, I will close in for now. My pussy cat is sitting on my lap at the moment and asks to stroke her. She is pregnant now; she is going to have kittens in the near future and she demands constant attention and care..»
And one letter from a young man: «Dear E, I like you very much and I decided to write you. Frankly speaking I am not quite experienced in getting acquainted through the Internet with women of other countries. Please ask me any questions. I will be happy to answer them..»
There are men and women who are not capable of being open in the letters for the first 3-4 months. How does it show? The letters are dry, reserved and careful. What to do in such case? To break the contact? Sometimes it makes sense but… Again a story which took place in our agency. «Zoya, I think I will drop my correspondence with L… I have been trying to help him for 4 months 4 to open up, to relax, to be more natural, and he is a like a cold cliff. But he has something intangible which attracts me. But I don’t want to cast in my lot with a person who is that impregnable ». And then something happened as if by miracle. At first time we could not even believe it. As in a fairy tale, the letters of L became open, tender, slightly crazy and very sensual. But what a lot of time and effort it took this girl!

My little advice – do not hurry with taking decisions!

It is crucial for correspondence to set forth your thoughts and ideas, you outlook on life. But… it can be done in different ways. «It is a strange thing here, there is much history to it, but for a short story, the women in America that are from ages 13 to 30 are very greedy selfish spoiled brats who think everything is supposed to be on a silver platter for them…» I will not give an example how this phrase could have been rendered. This phrase in a letter resulted in three women severing correspondence with this man.

At least sometimes try to put yourself at place of a woman reading your letter

Some men with the purpose of saving their time try to make their correspondence very saturated (I would say overloaded) asking a lady tricky questions. Questions like «What would you do if my friend started to flirt blatantly with you?» I believe 30-40 years old ladies would not be caught off guard with this question and you would receive an answer full of female dignity and hint at man’s self-consciousness. For a young girl the question like this would seem more than strange… And here is my personal point of view. One may philosophize on the most serious issues in letters till the cows come home. It’s much better – to discuss these issues tete-a-tete.
It is always interesting to observe man’s and woman’s actions in this or that situation when they are together… One more example of my practice. «Zoya, the woman I correspond with has a computer at home. How could she afford such an expensive thing taking into account her teacher’s salary? What do you think I should ask her about it?» «Dear Ê, it is probable that Svetlana bought this computer by herself. For example she could have taken a loan from a bank. We know that Sveta’s younger brother deals with computer repair work. Here in Ukraine young men often assemble a computer by parts for their own needs. And if to assume that Svetlana was sponsored… She will not tell you about it anyway. You will soon meet her so ask her about it at your personal meeting… » «Dear Zoya, I have done what you advised. I asked Sveta about the computer’s origin. And she calmly, without stammering or averting her eyes answered me that 10 months ago she was in touch with an American man. He sent her money through Western Union for a computer in order for Sveta to be able to receive his letters and answer them at home. They did not click with each other when they met, but they remained friends. You know she has even told me that once or twice a month he writes her and Sveta answers this man although he is with another woman now…»
And the last thing in this part. Some men love writing huge letters (6-20 pages). Every agency would only thank you for such volume, although it can get us slightly out of the groove. But… a man grows nervous and offended; he reproaches his lady for not answering him. Dear gentlemen! When will your lady answer you if she needs a lot of time just to read your letter! Of course if she does not work and does not have a child she can allocate half day to reading your letter and another half to answering it.

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